Thinking at the Round Table

The art part of life:  I'm so grateful for the help and direction I'm getting from my cyber-friend and mentor Debbie (even when Debbie isn't reading this!).  As is obvious in my previous blog posts, I can really ramble and go a million different directions at the same time!  This wandering of the mind makes me wonder if my charming son didn't get his ADHD from my side of the family.  Like having too many cooks in the kitchen, I just have too many ideas in my head and on my desk at the same time.  It is so easy to stop working and keep going back to reference books for that perfect idea to get us going instead of just making art.  It helps to have someone gently push me not just to get back on track, but to think about the track or path I want to be on while I work.  This is the most focused I've felt in a long time.  Art today feels like a fun project, not a stress-filled deadline, real or self-imposed.  

The mom part of life:  I think Kevin is coming down with a cold.  He is so determined to have a friend sleep over on Friday so they can stay up like sleepless zombies playing World of Warcraft, that he's coming up with the silliest reasons for all of his sneezing (I've nearly lost a window or two) and sniffles.  The story last night was that he doesn't have a pillow case on one of his feather pillows that he slept with the day before and the feathers have, after several years of sleeping on feather pillows, triggered a reaction when used without said pillowcase.  Yeah.  Right.  He should be very, very worried if he thinks he is his most brilliant at 15 and we just get more dopey as we get older.  I'm so grateful that I no longer have to stress between monstrous office obligations and deadlines and a child of any age home sick.  I was lucky to have bosses that let me bring work home when I could under such circumstances, but it was still hard. 

Being a mom and artist is good.  As unbalanced as life can be some days, I'm happy to be where I am in life.  Great family, lovely home, good friends, fun cats and a studio.  Oh, and coffee.  Is there anything more important? :-)

I made the magazine!!!

Even with two bad discs in my back, I did quite the shrieking dance in the street this week, much to the amusement of family and I'm sure a few neighbors.  I often grab the mail as I'm heading to the car to pick up kids from school, throwing it in the back of the van to retrieve when I get home.  I guess I just forgot it one day, but spotted the back of a magazine when popping things in the trunk for a trip to the beach.  I saw it was the most recent issue of Cloth Paper Scissors and almost chucked it in the house before heading out.  I realized this was probably the issue that would have photos of selected charms from the first swap in which I have participated, so while I didn't expect much, I thumbed through the magazine quickly.  There on the first of a four page spread was my charm!  I am #6!!!  Woohoo!  OK, I know they aren't numbered according to fabulosity, but I can pretend.  :-)  It was SO cool to see my name in print.  It was so hard to jump in to this project, so stressful to participate, but I did it to push myself and I made it.  I am so very excited, eagerly anticipating the next swap and project. 

This week, I'm off to the races with my wonderful cyber friends and our roundtable blog, more sketching practice, and just getting in the art groove.  My sister was here this week sharing ideas and projects she is working on, offering even more inspiration.

To quote Martha Stewart, this is a good thing.  Is that right?  It's close enough for government work.

P.S. and apropos of nothing...

I read an article in the Sunday LA Times that began, "Laprise started his presentation by dumping a pail full of sand on top the conference table, alarming executives who worried about the wiring embedded in the table for PowerPoint presentations and technology demos. Armed with three rocks, a small wooden elephant and a flashlight, he spent an hour weaving a tale of a boy on a quest to locate meteors that have fallen from the sky and to uncover their meaning."  This is for a new controller-free game device for the XBox 360, from Microsoft collaborating with a guy from Cirque du Soleil.  Apparently, just body movements run the game.  All I could think of is what happens if you twitch or sneeze...a meteor strikes your car, your spaceship flips upside down...?  I don't know.  I can imagine a few problems playing this one.  And I'd make Laprise clean up after himself.  Artists.  Sheesh.  :-)

My blog title says it all...

The only thing I've done in my studio in the last week is sleep (someone snores!).  I have been good about carrying around my sketch book and actually sketching, and I did play a little with my pretend Picasso painting (we're joking it and calling it the Licasso...Linda, Picasso :-) but I fear I've made it worse instead of better.  I guess that's what practice is for, eh?

This has been a week of being one seriously cranky momma.  Kevin's ADHD seems to go into higher gear when he's under stress or pressure.  While he has two finals a day (thank HEAVENS for block scheduling), he was constantly stepping outside to dig in the dirt or put up a few decorations for the big pool party this weekend - anything but study.  You know things are bad when the purchase I'm most excited about isn't the great decorations or the perfect tiki designed paper goods, but the air horn.  Two, in fact.  Kevin sassed me that afternoon, and I wonked away.  Oh, it was glorious!  I didn't have to argue or get into it with him and it is so very satisfying.  I would recommend this for every mother of a teen. 

I've got to channel Mary Poppins or Spongebob Squarepants or someone more cheery than myself to get through the summer without becoming homicidal or just flat out bonkers.

Focus on the positive!  With the change in some of our summer plans, I am going to be able to attend the International Quilt Festival in Long Beach again.  I love going there for the amazing inspiration provided by these incredible artists!  While plans changed too late to be able to take a class, I may be able to squeak into a  workshop.  If nothing else, they have an ATC trading wall for anyone that wants to swap.  How fun!

That's it.  I'm finished grumping.  Really.  ;-)

Summer = Artistic Challenges

There is only a week left of high school, then my lovely teen son will be home for almost three months.  On the "I'm trying to be an artist!" front, the summer worries me.  His plans tend to change, unannounced, in a way that pulls me out of the studio and turns me into a grumpy troll.  Last week is a perfect example.  He's in jazz band and they have a final coming up.  Of course, he can't tell me when.  First he said Saturday evening.  Duh, I think not.  Then he said sometime next week.  School is out on Wednesday.  Now he's just not sure again.  But they need to practice, he tells me, and they want to come here because we have more room and their parents all said no.  Oh, and they all need a ride.  All of them, because they live so far away and it's too hot to walk and they're carrying instruments and their parents won't bring them...the reasons go on at length.  They all manage to get here, when I find I have to take my husband to the hospital for what appears to be a spider-bitten finger.  He's diabetic, so a swelling, hot and red finger is a serious worry.  We make it to Urgent Care, he's given antibiotics, and we make it home in time to find an impromptu pool party going on.  I should note a pool party with toys flying, breaking the horsetail bamboo around the pool two weeks before a huge pool party.  Then there are the soda cans, chip bags and cookie crumbs all over the house.  Sigh.  We have a rule about kids swimming with no adult home.  My son apologized.  More sighs.  He doesn't seem to get that apologies don't unDO the mess and the rule-breaking.  It's been two days and the broken bamboo is still all over the yard.  I send him out to clean it up, then I hear digging.  He has a thing about digging.  It's very weird.

Summer means Kevin staying up late, wanting to sleep until 1 p.m., then inviting friends to come over at 4 p.m. to go swimming.  The stay up late & sleep in thing is fine.  It's summer vacation.  But summer also means that every directive (get up earlier if you wants friends over today, invite the friends at least a day ahead of time and let them know they MUST go home before dinner so your working father can have peace on weekday evenings), is met with daily attempts at negotiation on his part.  I am a pretty tough mom.  If I tell him that arguing gets extra chores and he argues, he gets extra chores.  Heck, I can get the whole house clean on those penalties alone.  But I'm tired of it.  Exhausted.  The life is sucked out of me.  All day every day is full of conflict.  Not screaming, ugly conflict (well, not often...but it can happen), but the frequent efforts to try to get the preferred answer out of me that makes me just nuts.  I grew up getting the crap beat out of me for just existing and making the mistake of showing up in a room, and have little to no patience for someone who talks back or tries to negotiate everything again and again and again.  I would not have survived to see a sunset if I had even squeaked, much less argued. 

I need an air horn.  It worked when he was five.  I'm getting an air horn.  Argue, he gets the horn.  Sass me, and he gets the horn.  It will save me time and effort, but what will the neighbors think, hearing that stupid air horn blasting every two minutes?!?

So how much art work will I get done this summer after 1 p.m?  How much time will I spend arguing, fussing or fuming instead of painting, sewing or gluing?

If he makes me nuts, I think I'll make him wear a tiara.  That'll do it!

I may get some artwork done after all.

Biding my time

It  has been a few days since I reinjured my back and I'm getting seriously cranky about it.  I had to call my neighbor/plumber yesterday for an exploding irrigation line, and we both walked around the yard with our hand on our back, comparing symptoms, physician advice and medication recipes.  Ridiculous.  And neither one of us is even 50 yet!  About all I managed to do was watch television, almost nap (I can't sleep during daylight, but I can remain still and useless for a long stretch at a time), watch basketball (GO LAKERS!) and fold laundry.  Oh joy.  Oh, and I did manage to take an enormous number of photos of birds, in addition to the baby skunk that has begun visiting us every evening.  What in the world I will do with the photos, I don't know.  Discovering the use of many of my camera's features was good, so it wasn't time completely wasted.  My feet have a lovely tan, too.  OK, so it wasn't all so bad waiting to get better.

Today I'm going to work on an art project, even if done from a prone position.  I have a couple of new ideas for art dolls and even for wonky paper dolls.  I'm eager to see what my friend Debbie has in store for online sharing and learning (still trying to get over my fear on that!), and am determined to do something worthwhile as I sip coffee and wait for the return of the plumber.  He's the funniest guy in the world, so I actually look forward to burst pipes.  :-)

What kind of art can I do on a heating pad?

Oh ugh, what a day!  I have struggled for a few years now with a back that is just wearing out.  For eight years, I worked in a spine center with the most wonderful spine surgeons and pain management doctors.  My boss would tease me that I was "bad marketing" when I injured my back and was hobbling around bent over and just miserable.  I insisted I was GREAT marketing because our patients knew that I could really relate to their pain!  I've got two discs in my lower spine that are just not behaving.  Sometimes the bulges are worse and putting more pressure on nerves than other days.   Some days I just get one big, fat muscle spasm that feels like someone kicked me in the back with wicked cowboy boots.  Today is one of those days, started with a breakfast of coffee, toast and meds to try to release that wicked spasm.  Oh, yum.

So here I lay, surrounded by the laptop, sketchpad, pen and pencil, remote control for the tv (I need voices other than my own talking to the cats), phone, a novel and a heating pad.  The manufacturer clearly expected this heating pad could double as a roaster, even on low.  Ouch!  So I keep having to turn it off and on so that I don't turn my caboose into a well-done hunk of moo.

I'm so very excited to begin a new art adventure with my cyber-mentor and friend Debbie.  I'm terrified at the same time to open that door.  This causes me to think about my younger sister Victoria who passed away a year ago just before her 47th birthday.  I was convinced that she didn't try anything (a job, finishing high school, etc.) because she was afraid to fail.  If she never tried, she couldn't fail.  That's what I'm afraid about with art.  I am terrified that if I try, I'll be discovered to be a big fat fraud.  But I just can't let my fear of failure stop me from trying and learning.  I keep telling myself that the worst that can happen is that I realize how much work I need to do to improve.  If I make art out of a love of creating something and just expressing myself, I can't fail.  It's not a test.  That will be my mantra.  Art is not a test.  Art is not a test.

I'm still a scared big baby.  But I'll face my fear and move ahead.  I may cover my eyes now and then, but I'll still move ahead.