I'm really very distracted today. Two people that I love very much are having serious life challenges. It's hard to know what to say when we talk. With one, we have been so close for so many years that I try to just listen, offer a little advice and just be present. With the other, I feel that absolutely every single word out of my mouth makes it worse. I am not as good a listener as I should be, always tempted to share a story or say something that I hope will help put things in perspective so as not to seem so desperately sad or stressful. I have failed miserably. It's pretty much impossible for me to watch someone so close to me struggling and not want desperately to help fix it. But I can't fix it. If just listening helped, I think I'd be better at just listening, but this is the kind of stuff that doesn't get better by just listening. How hard it is to accept that I can't fix it! I have advised that if I start blabbing and making it worse, to just tell me that I'm making it worse and I'll just shut up. That will be hard. I don't shut up well. I should, but I don't. Something to work on.
It's hard to heave a big sigh on a blog. Read this as one big, long, loud and sad sigh.
