An article appeared in a recent issue of one of my favourite magazines on the topic of hair removers. As a 50-year-old woman, this is serious business. Our husbands lose their hair as they age; we become feminine versions of wooly mammoths. It's revolting. So of course, I read all of the little blurbs hoping for news of a pain-free modern miracle and quick, permanent fix. I see the item that the author describes as the "best at-home wax," the description for which reads, "Yes, the pain is on par with that of pro waxing, but so are the results." My first thought is that a pro would not stop mid-yank while screaming. I tried waxing my legs once. Once. I remember that frantic point where I yanked and screamed at such a high pitch that I set off car alarms and neighborhood dogs started howling. I then freaked out about HOW I was going to get this instrument of pain and horror off because I SURE as heck wasn't going to complete the yank. There's the blow dryer, a heating pad to melt the goo, begging the husband to yank and promising not to kick him in the head (he heard the scream and was worried) Never, ever again. I'd rather be mistaken for Sasquatch.
Then there was the gizmo touted as the "Best Investment," the Tria hair removal laser. It reads, "Aim the beam onto the skin to halt hair growth, just like at a dermatologist's office." A tester reported that "it stings" but after twice-monthly sessions for six months, she happily reported "no more stubble or shaving." Really? Six months? Am I willing to zap myself once, feel the sting, and then keep doing it? For six months? I think not. Anyway, my first thought on this little toy was that it would be a great Plan B for waking up the teen. The alarm goes off, he doesn't get up, so I zap him. "Really, Officer, he had a stray chin hair and I was just trying to help." That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think it would be as effective as the air horn, but not hurt MY ears (or chin).
Some things are just not good for those inclined to do-it-yourself.
