So I went out to the pool, fussed for a few minutes, then just sat toasting my ankles and watching my friendly lives-under-the-deck lizard do push ups until he'd achieved quite the impressive yoga position. I really thought about what was taking the fun out of art for me, reflecting on my friend Debbie's recent comments. She hit the nail on the head. I have been trying to do too much in terms of technique and media, wandering from what I really want to do and enjoy most. I love so many different styles and types of work - pieces that incorporate fabric and paper, collage pieces that are truly thoughtfully composed, sculpture, paintings...but I don't do many of those things, at least not well. I want to learn, but I was feeling under crazy pressure and impatient to get better faster than is reasonable. I was becoming stressed with all that I wanted to learn to do, but had put aside the thing that is my passion - my figurative work.
I started thinking about artists who put out a modest number of pieces that are not just barely different versions of the last piece produced, but a wonderful variety of pieces that demonstrate remarkable skill. Then there are the artists that crank out a zillion similar versions of the same item or style of piece that are incredibly successful in terms of sales, but how boring is that?!?. I don't want to become artists #2.
After my pout-fest, I marched back into the studio. I took the piece that I was grumping about, pulled out the stuffing, turning it inside out and got to whacking. I made it more narrow and shorter, created a gusseted bottom, then whipped out all of my textile paints and started going to town, first with a brush, then just massaging it in with my bare hands. I now love the colour! I decided to take the wire "crown" I'd crocheted and woven and converted it into a collar. Now I'm plotting how I can add more wire to create a marvelous neck piece and I feel like I'm back. I'm back on track, I'm having fun, and I'm feeling more like I can participate in my other projects (the three canvases and the sketch book for the Art House Co-Op) without apologizing for my work and just have fun with it.
Much better!!!
P.S. for Debbie: I feel like I should buy you a pony or something since one can only dish out so many "Thanks!" and still sound sincere. :-)
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