Part II: Back Sans the Whining

So I went out to the pool, fussed for a few minutes, then just sat toasting my ankles and watching my friendly lives-under-the-deck lizard do push ups until he'd achieved quite the impressive yoga position.  I really thought about what was taking the fun out of art for me, reflecting on my friend Debbie's recent comments.  She hit the nail on the head.  I have been trying to do too much in terms of technique and media, wandering from what I really want to do and enjoy most.  I love so many different styles and types of work - pieces that incorporate fabric and paper, collage pieces that are truly thoughtfully composed, sculpture, paintings...but I don't do many of those things, at least not well.  I want to learn, but I was feeling under crazy pressure and impatient to get better faster than is reasonable.  I was becoming stressed with all that I wanted to learn to do, but had put aside the thing that is my passion - my figurative work.

I started thinking about artists who put out a modest number of pieces that are not just barely different versions of the last piece produced, but a wonderful variety of pieces that demonstrate remarkable skill.  Then there are the artists that crank out a zillion similar versions of the same item or style of piece that are incredibly successful in terms of sales, but how boring is that?!?.  I don't want to become artists #2.

After my pout-fest, I marched back into the studio.  I took the piece that I was grumping about, pulled out the stuffing, turning it inside out and got to whacking.  I made it more narrow and shorter, created a gusseted bottom, then whipped out all of my textile paints and started going to town, first with a brush, then just massaging it in with my bare hands.  I now love the colour!  I decided to take the wire "crown" I'd crocheted and woven and converted it into a collar.  Now I'm plotting how I can add more wire to create a marvelous neck piece and I feel like I'm back.  I'm back on track, I'm having fun, and I'm feeling more like I can participate in my other projects (the three canvases and the sketch book for the Art House Co-Op) without apologizing for my work and just have fun with it.

Much better!!!

P.S. for Debbie: I feel like I should buy you a pony or something since one can only dish out so many "Thanks!" and still sound sincere.  :-)

Frustrated Mom and Artist!

Today I felt compelled to pull out my box of incomplete art doll bodies and pieces and finish one project I've been messing around with for a while.  I'm sitting in the studio, grumping at the unfinished art doll.  I realize that the body is way out of scale for the size of the head and extremities I already made, and I am really unhappy with part of the design idea for assembling the piece.  Hemostats are great for yanking out the stuffing so I can cut down and resize the body.  I'm wrestling so much with scale that I feel like I'm just floundering and guessing.  I need to learn more.  See?!?


I broke my own rule with respect to art.  I looked at a few other artists' work that participated previously in the project that I've signed up for and they're amazing!  Alarmed at the thought of strangers picking up my project and guffawing (the technical term for snorting is disdain) at my efforts, I immediately started doing all the wrong things - going back to reference books to look at other artists' work for inspiration, criticizing my work and busting my own chops.  This time, I caught myself and tossed the books down, closed the web site and reminded myself that I used to do art for fun, it's not a competitive sport, and I've have GOT to knock it off and keep in mind all of the advice I'm getting from friends willing to put up with my eternal self-doubt while they continue to encourage me.

The family is all home for the long weekend.  It's actually harder for me to work when they're all home and I can hear televisions and computers, the fridge opening and closing, splashing in the pool...sounds that remind me that there's fun stuff going on outside the studio.  I think I need to take a break, refresh and defrost my brain and THEN try to get back to the project at hand.