Change is hard!

I don't even know where to begin. I've really been struggling for a long time now with so many facets of my life. I feel like I'm getting old so fast and falling apart at the seams. I feel frumpy and dumpy, especially when I have to attend events with the Uber rich in Orange County (the most painful social gatherings for me!). As I've fussed about before, I stress about sharing my artwork because it's so personal and I haven't practiced tolerating criticism.

The first thing I decided to do to get OUT of this slump was to give up control of the things I've been doing that have NOT been working for me and trust friends and experts who may have alternative suggestions. I found myself going back to a hair salon that I used to frequent. I've known the owner/stylist for ten years and was comfortable sharing some of my worries. He looked me in the face, asked me how direct he could be (I told him to be brutal) and he said that he felt that I was just letting life happen to me and that he felt if I could give in to some changes, both outside and inside and with which he would love to work with me, he thinks I would feel less burdened and maybe even start to blossom. What the heck. My way hasn't produced. So I just gave him free reign to play. The result is that for the first time since I was four years old, I'm blonde! Eeeeeeeeeek! It will take some getting used to and I may decide I can't take it, but it's liberating to let go of some of that stress and feeling of same old same old. (Is that the right way to type it?).

I'm so proud of my sister Lisa who has taken a HUGE leap with her artwork and found a market for it in Minnesota. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her and feeling inspired. My dearest friend Deb, in an effort to help me feel more comfortable sharing my work, has asked me to create two art dolls for a benefit auction for the local Girls and Boys Club. I have about a month and am actually really excited to have this "homework" and a deadline. I'm going to focus on changing my attitude and increasing my confidence. I shall remind myself that this isn't a competition, art is supposed to be fun and I'm not half bad.

With Kevin in high school, jazz band and marching band, I have found myself overwhelmed with trying to fit in all the housework and chores along with all of the running him around all over the place. I haven't done a thing in the studio for a few weeks. I look at other friends (I'm thinking of Amy in CO right now) who has two kids and a lot of activities, but still does her voice over stuff and improv. I should certainly be able to manage making an ATC after I vacuum!

Thank you Lisa, Al, Deb and Amy for helping me.